“I know that I should be
happy for you, and I should just want you to be happy even if it's not with me,
but still I can’t get myself to tell you “I’m happy for you” and truly mean it
because the truth is, I’m not.
I’m not happy for you,
because I want you to be with me, I want to be the one to make you happy. And I
know that's selfish but thats only because I love you so much. and I know, if
you truly love someone you’re supposed to only want them to be happy but I
can’t look at you with her and genuinely be happy for you because I know that I
could be better for you, and It just breaks my fucking heart.
It hurts so much to see you
with someone else, I don’t want you with no one else and I know thats selfish.
God just saying it out loud makes me feel like such a bad person, and I know
its being possessive but I wasn’t the one who promised I’d be here forever
first. I wasn’t the one who fell in love with you first and it's so unfair
because you are not here anymore, forever barely lasted a minute. and now I’m
the one whose still in love with you. I’m the one whose still here while you
found someone else.
And I want to say that
seeing you smile makes me happy and that seeing you with her makes me wish you
the best but I can’t because it doesn’t. It just makes me feel like I never
meant a damn thing and it makes me feel like such a bad person but I hate her.
I hate you. I’m just so damn bitter about all of it. Seeing you happy without
me only breaks me into a million pieces, it only makes me feel worse.
So I’m sorry,
I
wish you the best, I really do. I just thinks its going to take a while before
I can acknowledge that maybe its not me.
Because right now, all I
feel is hurt and hate so I’m sorry that I can’t be happy for you, I’m sorry
that I can’t feel love anymore but you took that away the minute you left
me." - AIN-
